In the 33 minutes of internet cafe time I currently have ticking down in front of me I've planned to attempt to summarize the year I've just spent in Uganda, and the realities of only having 3 weeks of it left. And since I've just spent another 4 minutes of that ticking time just staring at the screen, I don't think it's going to be an easy feat.
Lets get deep.
I don't even know where to begin.
And I've typed and I've deleted and I have 21 minutes left and I think the truth is that I'll never be able to explain what's happened this year. Especially while I'm still in it.
The best thing about Uganda is the people. Who are so warm and welcoming and tell you everything exactly how it is and will generally do anything in their power to help you. And leaving them is making me want to cry because even the ones I don't know are nice to me and no one in Dogsthorpe will ask me how I am when I'm just walking to the shops.
In fact the facebook newsfeed is telling me that everyone in Dogsthorpe just wants to kill one another.
And I thought I was ready to go home but everything I've already done doesn't matter anymore and I feel like my journey is only just beginning because I've had the period of loving Uganda and the period of hating it and what I'm left with is a very clear view of the fact that it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever lived with the most beautiful people and the change that is coming for me might just make me tired because I'd just like to live in the routine I'm living in for a little bit longer.
The worst thing about Uganda are the things that people want to tell you about it: - People only want you for money, people only like you because you're white, people want visas - and they're not true. If your insecure you can let that eat you, the fact is that people are realistic, and people are suffering, and people want to help one another where ever they can. And people will help you where ever they can.
15 minutes left
The kids at the babies home annoy me like nothing else but I've learned to be patient and my partner won't mind me saying she annoys me like nothing else but I've learned to live with her and the family we live with have the potential to annoy me like nothing else but I've learned to compromise and I feel like I've learned to be warm and welcoming and love people when I've just met them and even if that sounds weird I've found it's one of the most powerful tools EVER because it's not what you know it's who you know.
And at this point I don't know what I'm moving on to because my entire life seems to be a constant dilemma on what I should spend it doing, so instead of actually doing anything I spend time worrying about what I'm doing.
A perfect example being the fact that on the second night of Project Trust Training I was almost certain that I wasn't going to come to Uganda because it wasn't what I should be doing. But then I suppose what I should learn from that is just to choose a path and focus on it - in general make the most of it and it becomes the thing you 'should' be doing.
Like I've said, I'm still in it and there's no way now I can tell you how this has shaped me because maybe the thing that shapes you most is leaving. What I do know is that I've had the most incredible year of my life and I feel blessed because generally that's something that I say after every year and now I just need to focus on making the next year even better because whether I like it or not, I'm moving on.
This blog post isn't just in saying goodbye to the best year of my life but it'll have to do because I only have 6 minutes left and this is all I can manage. Thanks for reading.
Goodbye Uganda.
